So it looks like I will get up in the wee hours of the morning, jump in river for a long swim then ride a super hilly 56 miles and then top that off with a jaunty little half marathon (13.1 miles). I am racing in the Nashvegas triathlon tomorrow morning; it will be my first half ironman distance tri!
I'm thrilled, and also incredibly anxious- typical me before any major event (art show, big races, etc). My mind is racing (punsies). Seriously though, my mind is going crazy right now. I decided to get it all down in the blog because this stuff is so random I may not remember it to it's fullest extent if I wait till later. Here are the basics:
I am so anxious. What if I do terribly and am a disappointment to my friends and family who come out to watch? What if I suck and my training buddies don't want to train with me anymore? Of course, none of those people have ever given me a reason to think that way- I came up with it on my own.
What if I hurt myself? As an obsessive weather observer, it did not escape me that all week the forecast for tomorrow morning called for 60- 70% thunderstorms. The bike course is hilly, curvy, and not closed to traffic. I am not super comfortable biking on slippery roads. This means I will likely be very cautious on my ride. Fine, but not exactly ideal. I'll stick with my general attitude towards accidents, which is "be smart, but don't stop doing what your doing. accidents happen to even the most prepared."
Here are some of the more jumbled/ less logical thoughts bouncing around:
- Maybe I should eat a whole bag of gum drops because I'll be burning a lot of calories tomorrow.
- Maybe I should just eat a large soft pretzel tonight.
- Maybe I should research budgeting software and develop a new system for my spending/saving.
- Maybe I should donate 50% of my clothes to charity because I have too many material goods.
- Maybe I should start a career in a totally new field.
- Maybe I should do an extreme home make- over on my house tonight.
- Maybe I should make an appointment to get my hair done with either dark blue or pale purple shades.
- Maybe I should drop out of this race and not be competitive.
- Maybe I should get a pair of fringed moccasins.
- Maybe I should be nonchalant about race preparation and just wake up and throw my stuff together.
You may notice some of these are contradictory and none of them are actually helpful in this instance. This is me realizing that my biggest weakness when faced with pressure may very well be psychological.
I have never been intimidated by a practice workout, I am prepared, I am physically trained to have no problem with this race- yet here I am questioning why I'm even doing it. Maybe you're wondering "Why DOES she chose to do races if this is the effect it has on her?" Let's revisit that tomorrow :)