Tuesday, April 5, 2011

On Dissipating Disapointment

Due to continuing pain (caused by ITB issues & inflamed tendons) I decided yesterday to not run the Country Music Full Marathon as planned. As planned for over 5 months. So much time and energy; so many great mornings spent training with my friends- I don't want to let go of it. It seemed like things were going so well until several weeks ago. Even after my longest run of 17 miles I felt shockingly good. 
I can pin point several mistakes that led to this point, though:
1) I slacked on strength training and did not have the muscular strength to hold my legs in correct alignment.
2) Running an entire speed training workout in shoes that were wrong for me started irritation around my right knee. 
3) When I raced in the Tough Mudder, it escalated from irritation to extreme pain and I decided to finish the half marathon course complete with obstacles, anyway. 
So...I suppose next time I'll know what not to do. And now for some quotes on disappointment:

 "Disappointment weighs heavy on the pride." ~Mike  Howerton
 I am nothing if not stubborn. Saying "I can't do the full marathon" is such a blow to my ego. I feel completely confidant in my ability to push through mental challenges because of my will power. I know that I am physically tough enough to push through pain. Withdrawing from a challenge feels like admitting defeat.

"Disappointment is often the salt of life." ~Theodore Parker
This is a disappointment that will leave me stronger, healthier. I came to the decision because continuing could potentially cause greater damage. I have always known that I still want to be active, healthy and happy 20, 30, 40 years down the road and I will accept this disappointment so that I honor that dream.
The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. ~Robert Kiyosaki

How do I handle this? I am so angry- as if my body has betrayed me. I am so disappointed in so many ways I won't go into them all, but trust me, it's been awful. Lots of wailing and gnashing of teeth over here.
But: Jon cheers me up and calms me down, my friends are supportive and they look out for my well-being , and my pups just want to love me. I have a lot of great things to not be disappointed in.

Seamus & Aka always cheer me up; it's time for some photo shoot silliness!

She's so intense. I can relate!

Sweet, sweet Seamus

This is how we roll. One big pile of snuggling.

“I'm disappointed, but I'm not going to run around like Dennis Rodman and head-butt somebody.” ~ Greg Norman

To conclude:
I am pretty crushed, but know that this decision is best for me. I know my non-injured friends are going to have an amazing race at the end of the month. If nothing else, I look forward to being there to cheer them on!